Have you ever been in a situation or obligation that you can’t get out of? And don’t quite know how to navigate your way back to dry land?
You have? Well thank God I’m not the only one! Phew!
I have recently realised that I always and I mean always get hung up on the little things in life that don’t matter.
Growing up it was drilled into me that if I could aspire to do something, if I put my mind to it then I would achieve my goal. Bearing in mind it’s not some New Year’s Resolution we’re talking about here. That we mostly end up disappointing ourselves with in the end. I’m talking about some serious life choices shit right here!
I now think it’s about high time I woke the fuck up, wrestled my big girl panties on and done something about it!
Why you ask?
I let my anxiety and depression rule my life, to a point where I actually hate my life at the moment.
Cue the tiny violins *smh*
I let it rule my life so much that I have to seriously ask myself if :
- I really need to leave the house today, or can it wait.
- I need to weigh up the options of whether I can wait for that idem of shopping that just came to my attention.
- I need to convince myself that every one giggling and looking in my direction has nothing to do with me
*take hat off to paranoia*
- I need to ignore that feeling in my stomach that rises up when I think of all the things that could happen while I am out of the house.
So after exhausting myself before even getting ready in the morning I have already decided that today I will stay indoors.
Anxiety and depression some of the most debilitating illnesses out there.
It keeps me from :
- feeling confident in myself.
- being successful in an interview
- finding a job and working
- socialising and connecting with people.
Which keeps me isolated from the approximately 7,500,000,000 other people on the planet.
There comes a point in your life when you think fuck it! I want to live my life not waste it!
Why am I writing this post?
First and foremost to raise awareness for mental health and people who battle with their mental health issues.
Also so that anyone reading this post, knows that they are not suffering alone! I urge you to hang on in there and there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
*smh – cheesy but it works!*
Or maybe you know someone who is struggling and you’ve tried to help but they’ve pushed you away, please be kind and keep supporting them, we don’t always see when someone is being kind if we’re too far down the rabbit hole. In time they will come to you and when they do, I hope that you will be there for them.
Mental health is a tricky little bugger of a problem. People who suffer from mental health sometimes don’t actually know what it is they need that can help them, and people who have never dealt with mental health issues may not understand what it is that you are going through.
So try explaining and if still uncertain.
Take a breathe and try again.
You can’t expect to fix your mental health issues in a day.
You have mental health problems because something happened and you didn’t know how to deal with it and in turn corrupted your way of processing things.
In order to repair it’s going to take time, you will feel uncomfortable at times, but that’s a price your going to have to deal with in order to get better.
*here’s that god awful medicine you took as a kid – but you got through it!*
Perspective is everything!
After contemplating my life choices I decided it was hide time I made a change,
I hate my life as is, so a new challenge is called for.
I’m hoping a change in career will get my ass in gear maybe get my life back on track!
What about you, what is your next challenge?
Let me know in the comments!
Before I sign off…
I will reiterate if you or someone you know is battling with mental health issues, be patient,and understanding.It took me 4 years to realise I was wasting my life, that’s 4 years I can never get back.
Don’t get stuck in the past!
Live your life
Don’t let your illness take over
Be the light of life you were always meant to be!
Until next time
x J x
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